Sunday, April 20, 2008

Spring Forward?

And now, a moment away from from pinups and vintage, away from furniture lust, design and decorating. Here’s a moment from my mid-life crisis.

Typically spring symbolizes rebirth, but somehow this year there is a much stronger sense of transition and change, and I'm feeling off-kilter.

On the work front, a project my company has been working on for more than two years is drawing to a close. It’s been exciting, it’s been challenging from a design standpoint, and occasionally it’s been frustrating. In the last month or so everything has finally come to together, and I am damned proud of my involvement in the project. But now I’ve got that end-of-project anxiety, and I’m starting to wonder ‘what’s next?’

On the personal front, my sister’s forty-something husband (my brother in law) was diagnosed about 8 weeks ago with a malignant brain tumor, a Stage 4 Glioblastoma. So far, I generally haven’t blogged about it here, because I feel like it’s their story to tell, not mine. You may hear a few observations from the sidelines, though.

BIL had surgery to remove the tumor, and Friday was his last day in a six week course of radiation and chemo. At a time when no one knows what comes next, he and my sister decided to celebrate making it through this stage by going out on the town this weekend with a big group of friends; they went to see a couple bands and booked a hotel room.

(The Avett Brothers)

I'm proud of them for carving out a moment of normalcy and happiness in a time of uncertainty. And I've been a little worried all weekend that they over-planned, because the bottom line is that after six weeks of radiation and chemo, BIL tires easily and early in the evening. What would ordinarily be a recapturing-our-youth weekend, has probably been a big undertaking.

Lately, I've found myself wondering, just how did it happen that even my late-blooming, bohemian peer group has stopped having babies, and started having bad knees and cancer?

Even life with Smithy seems to be in transition at the moment. Interesting times are surely ahead…

So, with eagerness, with worry, with hope, I ask: what’s next?

(dogwood photo from flickr)


Ream O Rama said...

I hope you are well; wish that I could do something to make things better for you and yours....

speaking of midlife, check this out.... (page 13)

if I had run into her on the street I'd never have recognized her (I'm sure she'd say the same about me)

Miss Janey said...

Best of luck with all of it. So much of life is out of our control... Somedays the best we can hope for is coping well. Other days, everything just works. Miss Janey hopes all is working for you this day.

Great Dame said...

E, and Miss Janey thanks for the well-wishes. It's a few gorgeous spring days later, and everything seems a little less fretful.